Funny guest quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

  Commentary:
  Mission accomplished! My house is now an art installation titled "Controlled Chaos" 😅🧹🏡

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

  Commentary:
  "Interrupt my cruise again and I'll toss you overboard! 🚢😴☠️"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

  Commentary:
  "An air mattress is like saying, 'You're welcome, but don't get too comfy!' 😄🛏️💨"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

  Commentary:
  "Weddings are like a real-life game of musical chairs, but with hearts instead of chairs. Just remember, if you're feeling mischievous, there's always the 'should've been you' card to play. Just be prepared for some surprised looks and maybe a few awkward laughs!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the age-old cleaning strategy of selective visibility! 🧹🕶️ When you hit your 40s, suddenly dust bunnies become invisible until your guests arrive. It's like magic, but without the sparkling clean finish! ✨ Dust or dazzle, the choice is yours! 😄

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like I took the phrase 'stay for dinner' a little too literally! 🦃🍽️ Who knew I'd become your unexpected houseguest extraordinaire?😄 #ThanksgivingForever"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

  Commentary:
  "Stealing the show at every reception with my signature 'flailing limbs' move 💃🏼💫 Who needs rhythm when you've got enthusiasm, am I right? 😂 #dancingskillsonpoint"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'guest room mattress curse' strikes again! It's like they're on their best behavior until you actually have to spend a night on them. 😂💤 #GuestRoomStruggles"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone is navigating through the delicate dance of marriage etiquette! 😄 Remember, when it comes to wedding humor, treading lightly is always a veil-y good idea! 👰🚫💍 #HappyWifeHappyLife

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