Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.
  • “What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.
  • I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.
  • Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.
  • Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.
  • All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.