Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

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Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

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Remember when downloading a song in under 5 minutes was considered progress?

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Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

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I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

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Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

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Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

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Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

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Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

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I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.