Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

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Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

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I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

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My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

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The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

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It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

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Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

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I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

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Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

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Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

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If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.