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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Going viral on Discord:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Going viral on TikTok:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

Going viral on Messenger:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Spotted on X:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Reported on Slack:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Spotted on X:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

6 months ago

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

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Commentary:
Ah, the timeless ritual of morning contemplation: when deep thoughts about exhaustion rival the complexity of the universe itself. 💤🤔 Remember, pondering fatigue is a sport reserved for the bravest souls who dare to confront the unwavering allure of the snooze button! 🛌⏰ Stay strong, dear bed philosopher!

am, bed, humor, i, morning, procrastination, routine, self-reflection, thinking, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Trending via Messenger:

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Going viral on Twitch:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Going viral on WeChat:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Making waves on YouTube:

Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”

Shared recently on WeChat:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Trending via Reddit:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Trending via YouTube:

Mike is short for Micycle.

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