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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

48 minutes ago

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Spotted on Reddit:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Trending via YouTube:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Just landed via Reddit:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Home » Funny Thinking Quotes

94 Funny thinking quotes

Funny thinking quotes shine a light on the wild ride our brains take us on — often straight into absurdity! 😂🤔 Whether it’s overthinking simple things, zoning out mid-conversation, or having deep thoughts at the worst possible times, these quotes remind us that thinking can be a hilarious experience. After all, who needs logic when your brain has jokes? 😆🧠💭

New funny thinking quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Commentary:
Living the dream: become a ninja millionaire! 💸🎯🕵️‍♂️
4 days ago
Share →: The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Commentary:
Just when you think you're done, the pot's like, "Surprise! I'm the boss level of dishwashing!" 😅🍲🧼
5 days ago
Share →: Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Commentary:
When my brain goes on vacation, my thoughts finally start to make sense! 🤪🧠🎢
5 days ago
Share →: During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Commentary:
Ninja training: 0% complete. Still working on my disappearing act! 💨🔦🤦‍♂️
6 days ago
Share →: Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Commentary:
Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯
1 week ago
Share →: I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the profound thoughts of a great philosopher: 'Yeah' and 'Yup' 😂🧠💭 #DeepThoughts"
1 week ago
Share →: Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Commentary:
"Red, blue, and way too true! 🍷😅 Cheers to testing the limits of 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!' 🕒🍻"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Commentary:
"Working from mind today! 🧠📞 Guess that means I’m always 'on call' 😉✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Commentary:
"When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Commentary:
"At least you'll get the last word… and the last laugh! 😂✏️📝 #UltimateControl"

For even more funny thinking quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thinking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

747 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,909

Funny Quotes Topics

13,877

Funny Quotes Images

10,909

48 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Feelings are like children. You don’t want them driving the car, but you shouldn’t stuff them in the trunk either.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Just landed via Slack:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Live now on Slack:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Spotted on Telegram:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Spotted on WeChat:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

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