Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Breaking via Threads:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Making waves on Discord:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Making waves on Slack:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Just shared via Messenger:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Just shared via Messenger:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs that newfangled jive when you can be rocking the classic slang? 😎 Stay rad, stay bogus, stay totally tubular, dude! 🤙"

bogus, culture, expression, humor, language, learn, new, slang, stay, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

0

2 months ago

charge, cooky, elf, holiday, humor, imagination, leadership, put, responsibility, sh, stuff, toys, why
I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

0

5 months ago

blame, even, ever, fault, having, humor, i, mean, office, problem, proof, right, sarcasm, sensuality, sex, sheer, someone, work, yours
I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

0

2 months ago

adult, being, humor, hurt, i, irony, life, love, neck, sitting, still
I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

0

2 months ago

bond, character, fat, film, humor, i, james, James Bond, parody, ready, stereotype, think, world
I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

0

2 months ago

birthday, cake, celebration, eat, excuse, food, fun, humor, i, indulgence
If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

0

2 months ago

allowed, am, choice, freedom, ham, humor, i, life, life choice, self-acceptance, spiral

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

68 shares on Discord this month:

I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

Live now on Instagram:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Just shared via YouTube:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Making waves on WeChat:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Spotted on Facebook:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Spotted on Messenger:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Trending via WeChat:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨