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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,286

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Making waves on Facebook:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Seen just now on Slack:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Going viral on Instagram:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Trending via Pinterest:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Seen just now on Slack:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Breaking via Threads:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Trending via Discord:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

2 months ago

0

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all about balance – the crazier you are, the hotter you should be! 🔥💃 Embrace your inner eccentricity with style and sass, because being a little bit crazy never hurt anyone… as long as you rock it with confidence! 😜💁‍♀️ #CrazyHot"

allowed, beauty, confidence, crazy, hot, humor, personality, self-expression

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

0

2 months ago

activity, Bluetooth, funny activity, ghost, humor, just, mean, neighbor, neighbors, noises, play, prank, should, speaker, technology, technology humor
Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, Beyoncé, career, celebrity, conversation, fan, Goldmember, humor, i, just, meeting, moment, music, nothing
Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

0

2 months ago

advice, health, humor, just, listen, me, mental, mental health, nap, relaxation, take, therapist
Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

0

2 months ago

blood, caffeine, coffee, cut, enemy, humor, i, need, sarcasm, today
Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

0

2 months ago

creativity, fun, humor, inside, introvert, isolation, party, personality, room, self, socialize, why
The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

0

2 months ago

balance, being, dating, emotional, emotional balance, emotional support, healthy, humor, key, partnership, relationship, sad, support, taking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

50 shares on Discord this month:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Salad was likely invented after someone picked everything they didn’t like out of their meal and put it on a separate plate.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

80 shares on Slack this month:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion can’t keep living like this.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Going bananas on Twitch:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Seen just now on Reddit:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Trending via Snapchat:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Just landed via Facebook:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Seen just now on Slack:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

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