92 funny beauty quotes - Wordgag

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

May 30, 2026

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

May 30, 2026

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

May 29, 2026

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

May 29, 2026

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

May 29, 2026

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

May 29, 2026

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

May 29, 2026

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

May 29, 2026

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

May 29, 2026

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

May 29, 2026

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

May 29, 2026

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

May 28, 2026

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

May 28, 2026

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

May 28, 2026

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

May 28, 2026

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

May 28, 2026

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

May 28, 2026

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

May 28, 2026

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

May 28, 2026

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

May 27, 2026

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

May 27, 2026

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

May 27, 2026

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

May 27, 2026

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

May 27, 2026

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

May 27, 2026

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

May 27, 2026

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

May 27, 2026

My dream is being pitted against the world’s greatest AI in a writing contest and crafting a story that’s so beautiful that I make the computer cry.

May 27, 2026

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

May 27, 2026

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

May 26, 2026

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

May 26, 2026

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

May 26, 2026

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

May 26, 2026

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

May 26, 2026

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

May 26, 2026

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

May 26, 2026

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

May 26, 2026

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

May 26, 2026

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

May 26, 2026

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

May 26, 2026