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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

No plans and no pants kind of day.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Spotted on Telegram:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Seen just now on Slack:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Just shared via YouTube:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

You are the Monday of my life.

2 months ago

0

You are the Monday of my life.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Monday – the day we love to hate! But hey, just like Mondays, you bring a fresh start and endless possibilities! 💼☕️ Embrace the chaos and spontaneity that comes with being the Monday of someone's life! 🌟 #MondayMotivation"

comparison, day, feelings, humor, life, Monday, negativity, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

0

3 months ago

always, day, ew, finger, hesitation, humor, i, index, index finger, poke, procrastination, seize, seize the day, sometimes
I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, always, aunt, family, humor, i, lot, money, myself, realization, responsibility, thought
Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles
Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

0

2 months ago

car, gas, humor, lord, prayer, put, request, stomach, take
Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

0

2 months ago

birthday, boyfriend, gift, gift idea, God, humor, idea, love, maybe, me, relationship, single, wish, year
My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

0

2 months ago

account, actually, fake, humor, identity, joke, officer, probation, probation officer, relationship, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

75 shares on X this month:

Living la vida taco!

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Vegans will look you dead in the eye and tell you cauliflower tastes like ribs.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

53 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

97 shares on WeChat this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,487

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Seen just now on X:

Talents: eating!

Live now on Slack:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Just shared via YouTube:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Shared recently on X:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Just shared via Slack:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

Live now on Discord:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Spotted on Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

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