Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,631

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Making waves on Slack:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Spotted on Discord:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Trending via Reddit:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Clearly, we need to start a movement for 'tipfingering'—imagine the potential for dramatic exits! 👋🤣🦶"

anatomy, fingers, humor, joke, language, language joke, playful, puns, t, tiptoe, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude
Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

0

2 months ago

craving, desire, food, having, humor, humor quote, i, joke, sex, tacos, wish
The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

0

2 months ago

being, breakfast, cheesecake, dessert, excuse, food, humor, indulgence, morning, only, thing
I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

0

3 months ago

15, age, boredom, boring, feeling, feeling old, humor, i, nostalgia, old, time, why, youth
Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

0

2 months ago

chronological, chronological order, follow, follower, humor, idea, Instagram, media, only, order, people, post, posts, shows, social, social media, startup
Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

0

1 month ago

confusion, haystack, humor, irony, needle, question, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

48 shares on Threads this month:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

41 shares on Slack this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

57 shares on Threads this month:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

67 shares on Slack this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Making waves on Threads:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Just landed via Threads:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Just shared via Slack:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Just landed via Threads:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨