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If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

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Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

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Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

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I march to the beat of my own dumb.

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I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

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I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

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I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

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Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

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We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

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Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

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They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like your money has mastered the art of saying "see ya later" with a flourish! πŸ’ΈπŸ‘‹ Maybe it's practicing for a future career in dramatic exits? Keep an eye out for those swanky handkerchiefs next time you're at the ATM! πŸ˜„



Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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