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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Breaking via Messenger:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Trending via Threads:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Spotted on Discord:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Making waves on Reddit:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Going viral on TikTok:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Just landed via Telegram:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Trending via Telegram:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Spotted on Reddit:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

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Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's brain is on a constant quest for the next mental vacation! 🧠💭 Don't worry, your skull is doing its best to keep it grounded. Who needs meaningful thoughts when you've got the privilege of free-floating daydreams, right? 😉 #FloatingBrainSyndrome

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not here to make friends, just noise.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being social sucks all my energy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Just landed via Reddit:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Going viral on Snapchat:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Live now on Threads:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

Making waves on Slack:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

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