Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like someone's brain is on a constant quest for the next mental vacation! 🧠💭 Don't worry, your skull is doing its best to keep it grounded. Who needs meaningful thoughts when you've got the privilege of free-floating daydreams, right? 😉 #FloatingBrainSyndrome

away, brain, floating, humor, meaning, only, skull, thing, thought, unburdened

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

2 months ago
communication, expectations, feedback, honesty, humor, i, me, nice, open, sarcasm, self-defense, tell, violence
Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

1 month ago
astrophysics, bed, hair, humor, i, know, looking, lot, morning, science, surprise, wake, wake up, wet, wet hair, woke
Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

1 month ago
another, baby, day, doing, friends, friendship, humor, jobless, leisure, life, luxury, maybe, nepo, nepo baby, nothing, privilege, satire, shopping, spoiled
Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

1 month ago
boy, charge, favorite, humor, i, John, love, Martini, media, relationship, social, social media, Venmo, wife
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

1 month ago
am, animals, hate, humor, i, irony, love, plant, plants, vegetarian
None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

1 month ago
digital, distraction, happening, humor, illusion, none, perception, phone, reality, technology

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Making waves on Discord:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Making waves on X:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Going bananas on Reddit:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.

Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings.

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

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Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏