Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?