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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Breaking via X:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Going viral on X:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Just shared via Twitch:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Making waves on Reddit:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

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“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.
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Commentary:
Giving up was the secret ingredient in my chill smoothie. 🧘‍♂️🍹😎

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

63 shares on Slack this month:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

25 shares on Threads this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have one of those metal briefcases handcuffed to my wrist, and inside… my grandmother’s meatloaf recipe.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Never trust a wet fart.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Trending via X:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Broadcasted on X:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Shared recently on X:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

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