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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,483

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Trending via Slack:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Breaking via YouTube:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Making waves on Reddit:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Making waves on Facebook:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

Seen just now on Discord:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

50 shades of single.

2 months ago

0

50 shades of single.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic tale of a rainbow of options, all neatly encompassed in a single shade of solitude! 🌈😄 Embrace the freedom that comes with being the artist painting your own canvas of love and laughter! 💁‍♂️🎨 Who needs 50 shades when you're mastering the art of solo living like a pro? 😎 #SingleAndSlayingIt

50, dating, humor, relationship, shades, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, drink, drinking, enough, fun, fun activity, humor, karaoke, nightlife, social
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

0

2 months ago

amusement, amusement park, circle, different, ferris, Ferris wheel, humor, inventor, man, merry-go-round, met, never, park, wheel, wordplay
My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

0

2 months ago

equipment, exercise, exercise equipment, favorite, favorite part, having, i, Peloton, people, showing, showing off, status, status symbol, symbol, telling, telling people
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

0

2 months ago

curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman
Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

0

2 months ago

athlete, cheesecake, dessert, eating, food, humor, i, irony, quark, sad, sadness, whenever

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Have you ever apologized to your car after you hit a pothole?

78 shares on X this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

21 shares on X this month:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not alone. I have ants.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

25 is the new 0 years old.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Making waves on Messenger:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

Trending via Slack:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Making waves on Slack:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Just shared via Discord:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

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