Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.
  • Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.
  • I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.
  • I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.
  • Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.
  • The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.