Commentary:
When life gives you awkward sniffles on the bus, just blame it on the onions in your bag! 🧅😂🚍
40 Funny kill quotes
I love that our generation managed to kill the stereotype that if you have tattoos, you won’t be able to find a job. Now nobody can find a job, whether you have tattoos or not.
Commentary:
Job searching is now a beautiful canvas of unemployment for all 😅🖼️🤷♂️
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Commentary:
Chuck Norris can use laughing gas to make rocks giggle 🤣🪨🐦
What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.
Commentary:
Stronger? Sure. Grumpier? Absolutely. I'm evolving into a moody superhero! 💪😤🙃
Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.
Commentary:
Testing sibling boundaries: the ultimate survival training! 😂🤼♂️🔪
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, just remember they're probably going to explode now. 🍋💥😅
Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?
Commentary:
Guess we should start rooting for those Cloudflare blips — our surprise digital superheroes! 😂🔌🌩️
I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?
Commentary:
Why settle for warm hugs when you can have lightsaber snuggle struggles? 😂🪐✨
I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.
Commentary:
Are these "movies" the new fidget spinners for my eyeballs? 🌀🍿👀
I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’
Commentary:
If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬