Skip to content
  • Privacy
  • Disclaimer
  • Terms & Conditions
Wordgag

10,000+ Funny Quotes

  • ⚡ Funny Quotes Slot →
Popular Topics 🚀
mental health routine satire exercise after comfort childhood relationships stop better memory thought old wish eat nature change honesty movie myself everything office own sorry travel Christmas laziness self-care pun trying self anxiety fashion girl talk around actually here experience name ID men snack thinking misunderstanding next coffee friendship marriage used
Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 11591 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 26, 2026

 

 

 

 

38 Funny kill quotes

Funny kill quotes bring a hilarious twist to intense moments 🎯💥, mixing wit and dark humor that’ll make you laugh out loud 😂🔥. Perfect for gamers, movie buffs, or anyone who loves a clever punchline with a little edge 🎮🎬. Ready to add some humor to those epic wins or dramatic scenes? Let’s dive into the funniest lines that kill with laughter! 💀🤣

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Posted onMay 25, 2026

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Posted onMay 25, 2026

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Posted onMay 25, 2026May 25, 2026

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesn’t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Posted onMar 30, 2026

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

© 2026 Wordgag Inc.

>>> Random Quotes ✨