Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.
  • Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”
  • I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.
  • I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.
  • I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.
  • My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.