20 funny worth quotes - Wordgag

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

May 30, 2026

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

May 30, 2026

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

May 29, 2026

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

May 29, 2026

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

May 28, 2026

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

May 27, 2026

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

May 27, 2026

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

May 26, 2026

I only accept apologies in cash.

May 25, 2026

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

May 25, 2026

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

May 24, 2026

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

May 23, 2026

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

May 22, 2026

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

May 22, 2026

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

May 21, 2026

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

May 21, 2026

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

May 21, 2026

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

May 20, 2026

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

May 20, 2026

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

May 20, 2026