Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?
  • Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.
  • Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.
  • McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.
  • I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.
  • I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.