Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.
  • Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?
  • I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.
  • People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.
  • Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.
  • I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.