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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,292

Funny Quotes Topics

14,202

Funny Quotes Images

11,292

49 seconds ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Spotted on X:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Spotted on YouTube:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Seen just now on Discord:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Making waves on Reddit:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

6 months ago

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate challenge: a parking garage maze vs. a fearless driver! 🚗💨 Enter at your own risk, but beware of the twists and turns. 🔄 Who will emerge victorious: the concrete structure or the indomitable human spirit? 🤔💥 #ParkingGarageWars"

confusion, fear, figure, garage, get out, humor, i, me, navigation, parking, parking garage, scare, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1130 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,292

Funny Quotes Topics

14,202

Funny Quotes Images

11,292

49 seconds ago

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Just landed via Twitch:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Just shared via Telegram:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Shared recently on Discord:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just shared via Reddit:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Going viral on Messenger:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

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