Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.
  • People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.
  • Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”
  • I have no beef with vegetarians.
  • I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.
  • I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.