40 funny context quotes - Wordgag

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

May 30, 2026

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

May 26, 2026

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

May 26, 2026

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

May 25, 2026

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

May 25, 2026

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

May 25, 2026

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

May 25, 2026

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

May 24, 2026

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

May 24, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

May 24, 2026

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

May 24, 2026

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

May 24, 2026

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

May 24, 2026

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

May 23, 2026

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

May 23, 2026

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

May 23, 2026

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

May 23, 2026

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

May 23, 2026

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

May 23, 2026

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

May 22, 2026

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

May 22, 2026

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

May 22, 2026

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

May 22, 2026

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

May 22, 2026

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

May 22, 2026

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

May 22, 2026

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

May 22, 2026

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

May 22, 2026

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

May 21, 2026

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

May 21, 2026

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

May 21, 2026

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

May 20, 2026

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

May 20, 2026

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

May 20, 2026

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

May 20, 2026

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

May 20, 2026

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

May 20, 2026

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

May 20, 2026

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

May 20, 2026

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

May 19, 2026