40 funny context quotes - Wordgag

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

May 21, 2026

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

May 20, 2026

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

May 20, 2026

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

May 20, 2026

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

May 20, 2026

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

May 20, 2026

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

May 20, 2026

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

May 20, 2026

Having a loose stool means two completely different things depending on if you are a nurse or a bartender.

May 20, 2026

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

May 19, 2026

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

May 19, 2026

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Mar 29, 2026

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Mar 29, 2026

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Mar 28, 2026

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Mar 28, 2026

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Mar 28, 2026

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Mar 28, 2026

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Mar 27, 2026

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Mar 27, 2026

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Mar 27, 2026

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Mar 27, 2026

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Mar 27, 2026

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Mar 27, 2026

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Mar 26, 2026

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Mar 26, 2026

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Mar 26, 2026

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Mar 26, 2026

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Mar 26, 2026

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Mar 26, 2026

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Mar 25, 2026

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Mar 25, 2026

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Mar 25, 2026

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Mar 25, 2026

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Mar 25, 2026

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Mar 25, 2026

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Mar 25, 2026

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Mar 25, 2026

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Mar 25, 2026

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Mar 25, 2026

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Mar 25, 2026