Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”
  • If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
  • I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.
  • I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.
  • I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
  • God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”