Commentary:
Guess I should learn from animals and stop letting my GPS guide me into never-ending loops! 🐾🗺️😅
118 Funny us quotes
It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like, holy shit, should we do something?
Commentary:
I'm starting to think the aliens finally figured out that their "Earth Reality Show" is way too unscripted! 👽😂
Earth is an enormous spa for three thousand people, while the rest of us belong to the maintenance team.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be mopping the cosmic sauna until further notice 😅🪣✨
Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.
Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.
Commentary:
Running at Monday like it's a horror movie villain… plot twist: it trips as we scream and scatter! 🏃💨😱🍿
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.
Commentary:
Looks like it's just you, me, and endless reruns of "Earth's Got Problems." 🌍🍿😂
Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.
Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect plan for one long, hilarious roller-coaster ride! 🎢😂
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.
Commentary:
Channeling my inner Bowie… I'm off to buy more glitter and a pet iguana just to keep things interesting! ✨🦎
“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.
Commentary:
When you work so hard to earn boos, applause feels cheap 😆👏 #Goals #RickAndMorty #GoatDoctrine