Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
115 Funny us quotes
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.
Commentary:
Running at Monday like it's a horror movie villain… plot twist: it trips as we scream and scatter! 🏃💨😱🍿
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.
Commentary:
Looks like it's just you, me, and endless reruns of "Earth's Got Problems." 🌍🍿😂
Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.
Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect plan for one long, hilarious roller-coaster ride! 🎢😂
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.
Commentary:
Channeling my inner Bowie… I'm off to buy more glitter and a pet iguana just to keep things interesting! ✨🦎
“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.
Commentary:
When you work so hard to earn boos, applause feels cheap 😆👏 #Goals #RickAndMorty #GoatDoctrine
It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.
Commentary:
Well, maybe if expiration dates were printed on foreheads, we'd all be a little nicer 😂🤝⏳
We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.
Commentary:
Sounds like we’re using advanced technology to time travel back to reality! 📱⏳🤣
They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.
Commentary:
Wow, that's deep! 🧠 Guess we're all highly-trained couch potatoes now! 📺🥔