Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.
  • I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.
  • Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
  • That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.
  • Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?
  • The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.