Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.
  • Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.
  • Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.
  • If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.
  • I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.
  • Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.