Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the infamous plot by Big Text to exploit our tipsy tendencies and flood everyone's notifications! ๐Ÿน๐Ÿ“ฑ Beware of the cunning tactics of those sneaky emojis and drunk texts! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ“ฒ #TextsOnTheRocks"