Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Commentary:
“Never trust someone who can devour snacks like it’s their job but remains as svelte as a celery stick. 🍟🥗 Either they’ve struck a deal with the metabolism gods 🌟 or they’re secretly an undercover food magician. 🎩✨ Don’t be fooled by their bottomless pit powers – they’re onto something fishy! 🕵️‍♂️🍭”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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    Commentary:
    🌪️ “Are you planning to ride the lazy river of life all the way to the drain, or are you considering a more adventurous water slide approach?” 💦😂

  • Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

    Commentary:
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  • Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

    Commentary:
    “Airlines be like: 🛫 ‘Here’s a complimentary napkin to dry those tears of despair!’ 💸✈️ ‘Oh you want to change your flight? That’ll be $8700, plus an arm and a leg please!’ 😂 #FlyingStruggles”

  • I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

    Commentary:
    “Decisions, decisions! The eternal struggle between the angel on your shoulder (healthy food) and the devil on the other (Chinese food or pizza) 🥗🍕🍜. Looks like tonight, the battle of the taste buds will be epic! Bon appétit with a side of inner conflict 😂🍽️!”

  • Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

    Commentary:
    Looks like even demons need a fresh start! 🤣👹✨ Who knew exorcisms could be mutual agreements? Just imagine the demon politely asking, “Would you mind casting me out, please?” 😈 #DemonEtiquette

  • If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

    Commentary:
    Oh, the divine exhaustion of being all-powerful! 😅🙌 It seems even God might feel the need for a little extra R&R on the celestial couch. Who knew omnipotence could be so tiring? 💤 #DivineTimeOff