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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

20 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Reported on Twitch:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Trending via Snapchat:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

6 months ago

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Never trust someone who can devour snacks like it's their job but remains as svelte as a celery stick. 🍟🥗 Either they've struck a deal with the metabolism gods 🌟 or they're secretly an undercover food magician. 🎩✨ Don't be fooled by their bottomless pit powers – they're onto something fishy! 🕵️‍♂️🍭"

diet, eat, food, humor, skinny, someone, still, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

20 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Going viral on Telegram:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Trending via LinkedIn:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Breaking via Facebook:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Breaking via Telegram:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

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