Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.
  • No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.
  • If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.
  • Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.
  • If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.
  • Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.