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Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.
  • My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.
  • Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?
  • That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.
  • Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.
  • Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.