My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.