Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.
  • Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?
  • You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.
  • Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.
  • Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.
  • “I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?