Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.
  • Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.
  • According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.
  • My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.
  • My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.
  • My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.