Commentary:
When life gives you mashed potatoes, it locks the drawer for extra flavor! 🥔🔒😂
55 Funny everyday life quotes
I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.
Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic "Did I lock the door or just have a profound staring contest with my keys?" moment! 🔑🤔💭
I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?
Commentary:
Ah, the real mystery of life: every room's a Bermuda Triangle for memory! 🧠🚪🤔
Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”
Commentary:
That's one wrinkled board that's giving Alanstis Morissette a run for her money! 😂✨ #IronyOnAnotherLevel
Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.
Commentary:
Every time I wait in front of those doors, I feel like I'm auditioning for an invisible friend's club! 🚪🤦♂️😂
Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.
Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.
Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.
Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.
Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.
Commentary:
"Ew squared 😂☔️🚶♂️"