Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.
  • Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.
  • Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.
  • They should invent someone who holds me.
  • You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.
  • Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.