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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

3,913

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Trending via X:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on Facebook:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

3 weeks ago

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a good morning when you can just have a morning, right? I mean, let's be realistic here – who among us can truly claim every morning is a good one? I'll stick to just acknowledging the fact that I'm awake, thank you very much!"

asleep, good, good morning, humor, morning, morning routine, routine, sarcasm, sleep, wakefulness

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Dec 1, 2025

4,052

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Seen just now on Slack:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Going viral on Telegram:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Just landed via Reddit:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

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