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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,996

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,996

21 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Spotted on X:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Trending via Snapchat:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Breaking via YouTube:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Reported on X:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

5 months ago

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

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Commentary:
"Seems like the art of procrastination has reached expert levels! 😅👩‍🎓 Don't worry, embracing the 'learning from mistakes' journey can always be postponed to some other day… or year! 🤷‍♂️📆 #ProcrastinationAtItsFinest"

day, good, humor, i, learning, looking, mistake, mistakes, optimism, procrastination, self-reflection, start, today, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

834 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,996

Funny Quotes Topics

13,938

Funny Quotes Images

10,996

21 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Reported on WeChat:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Just shared via Telegram:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Live now on TikTok:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Breaking via Threads:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

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