Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.
  • When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”
  • I hope your day is as nice as my ass.
  • Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.
  • Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.
  • If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.