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New funny quotes: 8731 this month

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Updated: May 24, 2026

 

 

 

 

76 Funny door quotes

Funny door quotes add a humorous spin to the everyday act of entering and exiting! šŸšŖšŸ˜‚ Whether it’s witty remarks about knocking or playful observations about doors that just won’t cooperate, these quotes capture the lighter side of something as simple as a door. Enjoy a laugh as you look at doors in a whole new way! šŸ˜„šŸ”‘

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, ā€œdidn’t we go to high school togetherā€ and we did.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say ā€œwhat’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?ā€

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Saying ā€œWho is it?ā€ when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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