If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Commentary:
“If food delivery apps had never been invented, my bank account would be thriving from all the money saved…but my survival instincts might have also been put to the test 🍔😅 #FeastOrFamine”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the perfect logic to justify ordering another round of dessert! 🍰🍧 Who needs a main course anyway? 😄 #AlwaysRoomForMore”

  • I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

    Commentary:
    “Learning from other people’s mistakes? Nah, not my style. Giant wooden horse on my doorstep seems totally legit though. 🏛️🐴🏠 #TrojanHorse #OopsIDidItAgain”

  • “Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

    Commentary:
    “Sorry, can’t downgrade my worth even for a day! 💁‍♀️💸 #sorrynotsorry”

  • Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

    Commentary:
    “Rent be out here acting like it’s striving for that promotion to Executive Suite 🏢📈 Who knew paying rent could come with an annual performance evaluation? 😂 Maybe it’s time for a feedback session with your landlord?”

  • I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a girlfriend when you can have an arch-nemesis instead? 😂💔 Watch out, we’ve got a superhero in the making!”

  • Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s really keeping track of the days…or not! 😂📅 It’s a whole new level of schedule confusion! Stay tuned for the thrilling sequel: “The Case of the Missing Weekend.” 🕵️‍♂️✨