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Commentary:
"New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"

goal, humor, irony, motivation, new, new year, resolution, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

2 months ago

accidental, accidental selfie, accidentally, bad, bad day, camera, day, ever, front-facing, front-facing camera, funny moment, little, moment, phone, ruined, selfie, technology
When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

2 months ago

around, black, black clothes, clothes, decision, funeral, good, having, humor, look around, remark, response, room, saying, someone, witty, witty remark
When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

2 months ago

assumption, going, hate, humor, i, making, me, relationship, say
Later is the best time to do anything.

2 months ago

best, best time, humor, later, management, procrastination, time, time management
Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

3 months ago

40s, aging, humor, life, milestone, pounds, weight, welcome
I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

2 months ago

breakup, girlfriend, hate, humor, jealousy, me, rat, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

91 shares on Twitch this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

71 shares on X this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just shared via Facebook:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Just landed via Messenger:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Trending via Twitch:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Spotted on Reddit:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Breaking via Slack:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Later is the best time to do anything.

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨