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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Seen just now on Discord:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse.

Spotted on Twitch:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Making waves on WeChat:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Going viral on Reddit:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Trending via Pinterest:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Trending via Threads:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Clever and humorous quote about New Year's resolutions slipping away quickly.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"New Year's resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here's to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year's Eve outfit! 🎉✨"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

30 shares on Threads this month:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Spotted on Discord:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Spotted on Twitch:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Just landed via Instagram:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Trending via Snapchat:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The “-ification” essay pandemic.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Just shared via Slack:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

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