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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Don’t be part of the problem. Be all of it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Just shared via Discord:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Garbagemen: Taking out the trash while crypto traders and op-ed writers just add to it! 🗑️🤣🚛

before, contribution, crypto, crypto trader, ethic, every, garbageman, humor, lifetime, lunch, op-ed, op-ed writer, single, society, trader, work, work ethic, writer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

0

2 months ago

50, aging, black, change, eraser, fridge, humor, joke, lightbulb, memory, memory eraser, men, Men in Black, nostalgia, turn, turning, turning 50
My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

0

2 months ago

behavior, common, common sense, expectation, frustration, humor, i, mad, people, personality, sense, social, social behavior, toxic, toxic trait, trait
Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

0

2 months ago

ever, food, funny situation, house, humor, hunger, hungry, nap, procrastination, relatable, situation, tiredness
This meeting could have been an AI summary.

0

2 months ago

AI, humor, meeting, productivity, summary, time-wasting
At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation
My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily wear, everyday, expensive, fashion, glasses, humor, i, irony, most, self-deprecation, thing, toxic, toxic trait, trait, wear

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

98 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

53 shares on X this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

32 shares on Discord this month:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Making waves on Threads:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Spotted on Pinterest:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Spotted on Slack:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Seen just now on Discord:

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

Making waves on YouTube:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Just landed via YouTube:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨