Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,248

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Shared recently on Messenger:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

Breaking via TikTok:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Just landed via Slack:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Just landed via Pinterest:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Just landed via Messenger:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, I guess the office wasn't ready for the unfiltered edition today! 🚶‍♂️🏃‍♂️😂

accident, accidentally, hr, humor, mistake, office, personality, real, today, truth, used, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, life, politely, ruin, ruined, someone, tell
I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, i, life, me, nap, someone, take, time
True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

0

2 months ago

comfort, freedom, humor, life, luxury, relaxation, self, sleeping, true, wake, waking, yourself
Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

0

2 months ago

activity, another, botanical, botanical set, challenge, cleaning, collectibles, dusting, great, hobby, indoor, indoor activity, Lego, set, story, sure
Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

0

2 months ago

acorn, chewing, energy, humor, just, misconception, nature, powerline, show, squirrel, squirrels, thing
If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

0

2 months ago

back, boomerang, free, freedom, humor, love, relationship, return, set, something

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Salt is just angry sugar.

32 shares on Discord this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

34 shares on Telegram this month:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

20 shares on Telegram this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Going viral on X:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Just landed via Messenger:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Shared recently on Threads:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Spotted on Twitch:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨