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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Trending via Pinterest:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Making waves on Facebook:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Seen just now on Messenger:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Live now on Threads:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Breaking via X:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Trending via YouTube:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

2 months ago

0

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Staying at an AirBnB is like embarking on a thrilling adventure where the main attraction is deciphering the binder of rules left by your friendly neighborhood stranger 🏠💸 Just when you thought you were renting a room, turns out you signed up for a crash course in rule compliance! Who needs amusement parks when you've got an AirBnB experience waiting to bamboozle you 😂 #BinderOfFun #StrictlyAirBnB"

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

0

2 months ago

3, actually, coffee, day, eat, eating, eating habit, habit, iced, iced coffee, just, meal, meals, people, still, stress, survival, survive
Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

0

5 days ago

explaining, humor, judge, judgment, just, me, much, myself, please, sarcasm, too, work
You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

0

2 months ago

count, date, dating, going, humor, joke, me, relationship, sarcasm
Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

0

2 months ago

clothes, flirt, humor, kiss, longing, me, relationship, somebody, tariff, witty
There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, communication, everyone, font, font size, humor, i, me, name, sarcasm, size, someone, taken, team, type, whenever, workplace
The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, disturbance, holiday, humor, new, new year, space, time, week, wormhole, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

57 shares on X this month:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Just landed via X:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Live now on Messenger:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Making waves on Threads:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Trending via Slack:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

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