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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,235

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Just shared via TikTok:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Spotted on Reddit:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Just shared via X:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Just shared via Slack:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Staying at an AirBnB is like embarking on a thrilling adventure where the main attraction is deciphering the binder of rules left by your friendly neighborhood stranger 🏠💸 Just when you thought you were renting a room, turns out you signed up for a crash course in rule compliance! Who needs amusement parks when you've got an AirBnB experience waiting to bamboozle you 😂 #BinderOfFun #StrictlyAirBnB"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

60 shares on YouTube this month:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

43 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

63 shares on X this month:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Going viral on Discord:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Spotted on X:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Just shared via Discord:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

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