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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,753

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Just shared via Snapchat:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Breaking via TikTok:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Shared recently on Messenger:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Breaking via Facebook:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

2 months ago

0

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Staying at an AirBnB is like embarking on a thrilling adventure where the main attraction is deciphering the binder of rules left by your friendly neighborhood stranger 🏠💸 Just when you thought you were renting a room, turns out you signed up for a crash course in rule compliance! Who needs amusement parks when you've got an AirBnB experience waiting to bamboozle you 😂 #BinderOfFun #StrictlyAirBnB"

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, internet, irony, know, people, true, truth
I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

0

1 month ago

assistant, communication, humor, i, light, light up, say, Siri, someone, technology, voice, voice assistant, wish
Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

0

2 months ago

admit, bring, buried, clutter, digital, digital mess, front, great, humor, i, library, mess, organization, phone, phone use, photo, photo library, screenshot, screenshots, system, taking, tech, tech humor
The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

0

2 months ago

animal, Canada, comedy, goose, humor, music, saxophone, violent
You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

0

2 months ago

before, casual, dessert, fitness, food, humor, i, know, pants, put, real, snack, yoga
Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

0

2 months ago

asking, confusion, grok, grown, grown man, humor, internet, internet slang, man, men, question, real, slang

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

44 shares on Threads this month:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, turn off the planet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,949

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Going bananas on X:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Making waves on Instagram:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Making waves on Slack:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Spotted on Threads:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Shared recently on Slack:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Making waves on Twitch:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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