Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

296 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,565

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,565

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Spotted on WeChat:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Going viral on Threads:

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Going viral on X:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Spotted on Messenger:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Balancing my budget while balancing on a treadmill: multitasking level expert! 💸💪😎

attractiveness, being, care, financial, financial stability, getting, humor, i, priorities, self-improvement, sexier, stability, stable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

2 months ago

activity, annoy, couple, fun, humor, night, relationship
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

2 months ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love
“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

2 months ago

after, careful, caution, everyone, experience, fall, humor, irony, relatable, slip, warning
Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

2 months ago

aging, check, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, fun, getting, getting old, i, life, me, memory, old, photos, someone, texts, yesterday
None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

2 months ago

digital, distraction, happening, humor, illusion, none, perception, phone, reality, technology
Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

2 months ago

boundary, friendly, humor, i, interaction, just, mean, means, personality, rude, sarcasm, social, social interaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

42 shares on Threads this month:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

10 shares on Threads this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

19 shares on Discord this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Going viral on Threads:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Going viral on Telegram:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Going viral on X:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Just shared via Facebook:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Shared recently on Reddit:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨