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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

58 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Shared recently on Discord:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

Live now on Slack:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Seen just now on X:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Trending via Pinterest:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Spotted on Reddit:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Home » Funny Self-improvement Quotes

61 Funny self-improvement quotes

Funny self-improvement quotes are like sprinkles of humor on the cake of life 🍰! They turn the grind of personal growth into a laugh-out-loud adventure 😂. Imagine picking yourself up with chuckles and giggles as your guide 🎈. These witty words of wisdom remind us that progress doesn’t always have to be serious—it can be a joyful journey filled with quirky inspiration 🚀. Dive in and let the hilarity fuel your transformation 🌟!

New funny self-improvement quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Commentary:
Me in therapy: "Guess what, I adulted today!" 😂💪 #AchievementUnlocked 🏆✨
3 days ago
Share →: I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Commentary:
Leveling up to 'Human Espresso' status! ☕🚀😎
5 days ago
Share →: I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Commentary:
Looks like my mirror is getting ready for the show of a lifetime! 😂😂🌟
7 days ago
Share →: Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Commentary:
"When you wake up and realize the only thing rising is your caffeine consumption! 😅☕️ #MistakesMakeUsHuman"
7 days ago
Share →: I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Commentary:
"When life gives you grapefruits, swap them for pancakes! 🥞😂 #GrapefruitGoals #TeamPancakes"
1 month ago
Share →: My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Commentary:
"Sounds like my goal of 'just a little light redecorating'—ended up painting the whole town! 🎨🖌️😅"
1 month ago
Share →: For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

…

Commentary:
🎉🧠 "Heads up, everyone! It's like software updates, but for me! Time to hit 'refresh' and wave bye-bye to those old versions! 🚫🗑️🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: “Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Commentary:
Haha, same here! Can I get a “calm” pass, please? 😂🙈🧘‍♀️
2 months ago
Share →: I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Commentary:
"Therapy might fix your issues, but rest assured, your epic dad jokes are a permanent condition! 😅🛋️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Commentary:
"Living life like it's a chaotic improv show and calling it 'method acting'! 🎭😜 #VibeGoneWild"

For even more funny self-improvement quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny self-improvement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

58 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Just shared via Slack:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Just landed via X:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Just shared via WeChat:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Going viral on Discord:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Breaking via Threads:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Breaking via Slack:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Just landed via Messenger:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

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