Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Trending via Pinterest:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Going viral on X:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Spotted on Twitch:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Slack:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Live now on YouTube:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Live now on Slack:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you've truly mastered the art of horizontal hobbies! 🛌😂

activity, favorite, favorite activity, humor, laziness, mattress, relaxation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

0

2 months ago

exercise, fitness, hell, humor, i, ibuprofen, pain, pain relief, relief, somebody, support, work, workout, yes
By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

0

2 months ago

addiction, cartoon, food, humor, man, Popeye, rehab, sailor, spinach, time
Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

0

2 months ago

boundary, business, humor, just, none, personal, privacy, sarcasm, secret, secrets, sometimes
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

0

2 months ago

anything, desire, goodbye, i, never, rekindle, relationship, see you
Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

0

2 months ago

consequences, dark, dark humor, everyone, expectation, happiness, happy, humor, irony, push, stairs

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Discord this month:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

46 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

54 shares on Discord this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Live now on X:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Spotted on Pinterest:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Making waves on Discord:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Trending via Pinterest:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Breaking via Discord:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Just shared via Pinterest:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Spotted on Twitch:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨