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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The older I get, no.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,254

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Just landed via X:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Just landed via WeChat:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Just shared via TikTok:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Freshly posted on X:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Just landed via Discord:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

before, breakup, country, country song, hear, humor, leaving, matter, only, self-driving, self-driving vehicle, song, time, truck, vehicle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where
“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

0

2 months ago

5-year, 5-year plan, funny response, humor, i, movie, next, plan, procrastination, response, short-term, short-term plan, think, week
I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

0

5 months ago

awkward, awkward silence, care, communication, conversation, humor, i, interaction, introvert, silence, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk
Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, love, relationship, status, YouTube
When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

0

2 months ago

Beatles, humor, interpretation, lyric, lyric interpretation, me, music, over, right, say, song, song lyric, The Beatles, together, why
Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

0

2 months ago

biological, biological clock, clock, dating, deadline, final, humor, men, pressure, prove, relationship, weakness, worthiness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

60 shares on Threads this month:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

79 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

Breaking via WeChat:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Live now on Discord:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

Trending via Pinterest:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨